just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
