i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
