I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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