Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
