We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
