No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
