I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
