I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
