I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
