I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
