I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I want to be your penis for a week.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
