are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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