pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
