He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize