no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
