why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
