he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
