You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
