haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
