Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
