I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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