her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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