if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
