Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
should my penis look like a turkey
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Randomize
