all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
