whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
