People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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