You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
