Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
