I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
