I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
