do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
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