You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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