I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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