This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
