I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
