Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
