maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
