There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She's the barista slut.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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