I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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