Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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