What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Less talking, more tequila
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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