K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
