your parents love me but you hate me
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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