so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
