Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
