The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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