Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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