So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
