If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
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